You know that saying, "Where Fear Exists, Faith Cannot"? Well, I think in times like these, God understands.
Thursday night arrives and Logan stays by my side in the hospital room. All the nurses could say was "try to get some sleep". And I did, but it doesn't mean I wasn't scared out of my mind but at peace at the same time. One of my nurses, Sabrina (she had my back the whole I stayed in CA...she got after the nurses if they were being sucky with my care) came in to give me an IV. I had never had one before, so I asked her how painful it was. "Is it more painful than an *amneo? Because that was super painful." She said no, I was still scared, but forced myself to relax, and in it went. That was probably the least painful IV I had. Many more were to come, along with bruises and scars. My parents and my in-laws both attended the stay in California for surgery and a few days of recovery.
The morning of the surgery I did have to have an epidural, which I am so thankful that Logan was there for because I was also terrified of that process...it was a peace of cake. I was placed on another bed, made to drink this sick-nasty antiacid drink (which a med student was by my side the whole time, a real sweet guy, studying the process, and I was his guinea pig) that I couldn't even bring to my mouth for about 20 minutes. Finally the med student got everyone a cup, filled with water, and we all downed it at the same time. I didn't throw up! I was so proud of myself! Thanks to him, I was able to get that sicknasty fluid down and not aspirate on my own fluids during surgery. Once the operating room was ready for me, they placed me on the operating table, which when I looked to my left, I saw someone having surgery on their leg...it looked like it does on the Discovery Channel. Not much time passed and they had me hooked up to an oxygen mask and pumping this burn-y liquid into my arm. Within a matter of seconds I felt the burn and conked out.
I don't remember much due to the fact that 2 days of my life I was heavily sedated and forced to sleep. Thus, no memory. I was placed under a magnesium drip which would cause my uterus to basically sleep. With the surgery I could NOT go into labor and so the magnesium would attempt to do the trick. It did. I felt like a blob on drugs that made everything seem like it was a good thing to eat rainbows and poop butterflies.
It came to be that during the surgery, Rowan was perfect. He didn't move, at all, and he was able to be stitched up just fine. The complications came with me. They actually held me an hour longer in the operating room to watch my progression or digression. There had to be at least 20 different doctors all working on the same team to help Rowan and myself come out alive. During surgery, when they flipped my uterus out of my body, a giant bruise formed between the uterus and the placenta. If the placenta lifted anymore, they would HAVE to deliver Rowan because he wouldn't survive in the womb. Luckily, I stabilized enough to remove me from the operating room and into a hospital bed that I would stay in for 6 long agonizing weeks. When I was moved into my room, I remember waking up later that night and a nurse trying to wake me up while others were scurrying around the room trying to stop my bleeding. I guess I was bleeding...a lot and I had lost a LOT of blood. Blood transfusions were standing by, as well as Emergency OB's to deliver Rowan if my bleeding didn't stop. One of the chief doctors told my in-laws that they needed to prepare for a baby to arrive that night. While the nurse was trying to get me to respond, all I could say was a prayer. I couldn't even vocalize the prayer because the magnesium was so heavy. They had to give me an extreme amount in order to try and save my life. Anyway, I just prayed that Heavenly Father would bless my body to stop bleeding, I would stabilize, and they wouldn't remove Rowan. I prayed that Rowan would be safe and protected inside me...and then I passed out and didn't wake up until Valentine's Day morning.
Logan says everyone stayed by my side until I woke up. He'd never been so worried in his life. When I woke up, he was so relieved and that I was a little loopy. I had to start my digestive system over, and had to eat ice chips the first day and slowly progress to jell-o, and go up the ladder from there. I was on the magnesium drip for 5 days. I felt hot and wobbly and dry all the time, and all I wanted to do was take a shower. My biggest feats were rolling over in bed to one side...which I couldn't do unless 2 people were helping me. I had to breathe into this little plastic mechanism to make sure my lungs were expanding and contracting and not filling up with fluid from being on bed rest. When I finally could get up, it was the worst pain I have EVER experienced. I cried and begged the nurse to let me sit down...she didn't. Going to the bathroom was miserable and I had to hold my belly whenever I walked because the weight of Rowan was...was just so hard to bear.
Eventually I progressed, I threw up a lot and that never really went away, even after being released from the hospital. Because of the bruise, I had to remain in the hospital for 6 weeks. My mom stayed with me the whole time and Logan would fly up on the weekends, sleeping in hospital chairs and ehstinky twin beds. But all through it, Rowan was doing great. He was kicking, hiccupping, and growing his strong little heartbeat. The baby was doing better than me, and that was evident for the rest of my pregnancy.
At one point the doctors didn't think that I would be released from the hospital, let alone be allowed to go home. That wasn't even an option. My condition was not stable enough and I just had to accept that I would remain in CA for the duration of my pregnancy. Thankfully, through fasting and the prayers of my loved ones, God had a different plan. My bruise shrank enough for me to be discharged from the hospital and be allowed to stay in a family house just down around the corner. From there, my mom created a home away from home in our one room living quarter. Eating was miserable. I actually didn't eat hardly anything at all, and most of the time, my mom had to feed me because I didn't have the energy or stomach to eat. Showering was miserable. I had to keep a chair in the shower in case the effort was too much and I needed to sit down. Sleeping was even miserable until my mom purchased a Snoogle for me. Nonetheless, it's all I did. All I did was lay in bed, watch every single season of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, watch Frozen a million times, What to Expect When You're Expecting, the Batman series, and crochet baby blankets until I felt like my fingers would fall off. I'll tell ya, the pain and discomfort in my abdomen was greater than anything I had ever experienced. I had to be so careful with everything I did, and I couldn't even walk very far. I had to get a wheelchair and my mom had to push me everywhere. Luckily we did get a handicap pass, which was WAY awesome and saved us tons of money in parking fees. Handicap passes allow you to park wherever you want and not pay for it downtown.
Eventually I healed and progressed even more! Again, through prayer and fasting, my bruise completely disappeared and I was able to go home!! I was safe enough to fly on a plane, as long as I had a wheelchair and boarded first as well as exited last. I couldn't let anything jar my stomach or cause distress to my body because it could cause labor. So, with those instructions, I packed my bags and my dozen pill bottles and headed home to Salt Lake where Dr. Ball would be watching me VERY closely until Rowan arrived.
Dr. Ball's location in Salt Lake was the ONLY reason they discharged me to go home. Another blessing.
Doctor appointments were made for about 2 times a week, every week, until Rowan came, and so I was constantly being monitored, poked, and cameras shoved inside me to make sure that Rowan was still healthy and strong. Boy oh boy, it was an adventure...an 8 week long adventure, but an adventure just the same. I was miserable, and in pain, but I was doing all I could to keep Rowan inside me, happy, healthy, and safe.
*I did have to get an amniocentesis before heading to California in order to see if Rowan had any other disorders. My mom said it wasn't painful for her at all...LIES! It was probably the worst pain I had ever experienced in that point. I was shaking, I was sweating, I was moaning...all clutching my husband's hands and breathing into his chest to avoid movement. It felt like it lasted forever. Once the fluid was sent off for testing, everything did come back fine and that was another green light to get us to California.
No comments:
Post a Comment